


Pee Panic

by orphan_account



Category: Suits (US TV), The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: Bladder shyness, Embarrassment, Panic Attacks, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-26 08:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20386948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Harvey's already shrivelling confidence gets another hit when somethingunexpectedhappens.





	1. Uncancelled Sessions

Harvey paused the TV at the sound of the doorbell. He checked the clock; Half past 10 PM. Wiping the pizza grease off his t-shirt and sneaking a disdainful glance at the freshly dry-cleaned suit trousers hanging on the bathroom door, he approached the door and opened it. In front of him, was his therapist, Dr Paula Agard. 

“Dr Agard. I cancelled our session,” he reminded her, confused.

“Yes, you did. I am aware. But as your therapist, it is my job to push for extra sessions when I suspect you are at risk of additional panic attacks.” Dr Agard informed him.

  
“If that were true why would I cancel my appointment?” Harvey countered.

“That’s what I’m here to find out. I brought a present, to make it more pleasurable,” Dr Agard took out a children’s lunchbox from her purse. “Go on, open it,” she requested politely. Harvey did so, and saw that it contained his favourite brand of chocolates. 

  
“You left it behind after you talked about your mother,” Paula remarked. Harvey knew she said it to show the similarity between his reluctance then and now. 

“Come in,” he replied dryly. 

They sat down on chairs in Harvey’s living room almost instinctively.

“I’m sorry to say this Doc, but I really don’t think this story is within your area of expertise. It has nothing to do with panic attacks” Harvey claimed.

  
“If that were true, you know what would’ve happened?” Agard challenged him. Harvey continued his annoyed expression at her presence.

“You would have shown up for our session talked about how you didn’t have a panic attack all day today, we’d discuss a bit more about your relationship with your mother until time runs out, then we’d both go our separate ways. Which means, since I’m here, that you  _ did _ have a panic attack but don’t want to talk about it, which is a first,” Dr Agard pointed out, ensuring Harvey of her curiosity and interest in the story. 

Harvey shot her a “stop correctly analyzing my behaviour”-look, sighed, and accepted the circumstances. 

_ I was in a meeting, _

Paula interrupted. 

“That’s not the beginning,”

  
“Yes it is,” he stated.

“Of the story yes. But we always start at the beginning of the day.” she reminded him. 

Harvey rolled his eyes and started over. 

_ It was 8:30 in the morning. I walked into my office with a cup of coffee, and got started on some billing of recent clients. Then at about 9.05, Mike asked for some advice, so I followed him into the hallway. We stopped at a watercooler, and that’s when I did the first stupid thing of the day. I had 2 and a half glasses of water. In addition to the cup of coffee. _

Harvey gazed upon Dr Agard to try to detect a hint of understanding, hopefully, mixed with some wariness, so he could call it quits. But neither was visible. He continued.

_ We walked a bit further, at which point I noticed we were like 10 steps from the bathroom. It’s important to note, at this point, I didn’t really feel like needing to go yet, but it was 9.15, which is when I always go, just to be safe. Only, the universe found a problem with this... _

*******************

**9:15 AM, Pearson-Specter offices**

Louis- Hey, Harvey, so glad I found you!

Harvey- Actually Louis...

Louis- You’re not busy, I can tell by Mike’s shoulders. Jessica wants you and Mike in a meeting pronto.

  
_ That’s when I make my second stupid decision. I follow him into the meeting. I caught a glimpse of Donna seeing me walk in there. She was probably confused as to why I abandoned my usual “schedule”. _

**[flashback to meeting]**

_ In the beginning, I was fine. The occasional shift, legs crossed below the knees, not too bad. I had worse in law school.  _

_ Then, it gradually got more difficult to ignore. _

  
  


Harvey began jiggling his knee silently, and tapping his finger on a folder of documents. He winced and frowned before slapping on his stoic exterior again. One of the other lawyers in the room said something he disagreed with and he snapped. 

Mike(whispering)- What are doing? You always save the bulldog approach until later.

Harvey(also whispering)- It was just a blip, move on.

_ This was a lie. It wasn’t just “a blip”. I snapped because paying attention to the meeting was hard enough at this point without douchebags in the room.  _

_ Fast forward to an hour 30 min in, Jessica walked out, don’t remember what her excuse was, only that she locked the rest of us inside the room, to keep the more disgruntled clients from walking out.  _

**[meeting]**

Mike got up, looking ambitiously at one of the biggest tycoons in the room, and as an effect, the most lucrative client. 

Mike- Harvey, get up. We need to convince those guys to stay.

Harvey was only halfway through uncrossing his legs when his bladder signalled a strong desire to remain seated.

Harvey- Here’s the thing. I need you to give it a shot on your own.

Mike- Are you nuts? Why now? Why him?

Harvey- You got this. You have to. I can’t get up.

Mike- What are you talking about?

Harvey(points at leg)- Muscle cramp, from exercising.

As soon as Mike walked over to the intimidating man, Harvey could see him get a shark-like look on his face. Seeing Mike’s worry about pitching to this man single-handedly, wasn’t just him being a wuss, Harvey looked around the room. No one was looking at him so he quickly grabbed himself and managed to unwound his legs, keeping them tight at the same time. 

_ I also managed to walk  _ ** _very stiffly_ ** _ , over to the client and talk to him. I can only hope that my equally stiff face helped our chances rather than ruin them, honestly anything from this early in the meeting is a blur. Except for the part about Mike leaving, thank god. _

Harvey wasn’t sure, but Dr Agard seemed to raise an eyebrow at the last remark. Both due to worry and fascination it seemed, however unusual the combination. 

_ Once I succeeded in what I think was convincing him, I plopped back down in my chair with my knees apart, so relieved to be back in the chair, I didn’t realize that I was doing exactly what my bladder wanted. I almost didn’t catch the leak in time to stop it, but once I did, I leaned forward as inconspicuously as possible for the next few minutes.  _

_ Somehow, this worked well enough for me to sit more naturally. I was in pain, but less noticeable. It didn’t last long though. For some reason, maybe because she’s the only one who knows my bathroom schedule, Donna popped into my head. And predictably, I got a panic attack again. I don’t know how, but Jessica  _ ** _knew_ ** _ . I know she did. She didn’t say anything, she just sent me out of the room. I did the usual shebang, throw up in the bathroom, wash my face, plus the third stupid thing: Not. Pee. _

_ I walked back in the meeting, which went as expected, old clients defended us, newer clients attacked.  _

_ What I didn’t expect was one of our oldest, most faithful clients not having seen as much a picture of me. And he was so impressed with my bluntness earlier, that he insisted on shaking my hand. Almost on command, I stood up, leaned across the table, and shook his hand. The issue was that once a drew my hand back, I was standing with my feet apart, admiring him as he admired me. That was when it happened. My eyes widened, then they just closed in defeat. _

“And, what happened, Harvey?” Dr Agard questioned.

“You know what. You know why I mentioned all those details about my sitting position,” Harvey replied snarkily. 

“Yes, I do. But I want you to say it out loud,” she instructed. 

He sighed, and closed his eyes in equal defeat.

“I started peeing my pants,” Harvey blushed wildly in embarrassment. 

_ I quickly sat down, knowing I wasn’t going to stop it. I just let it keep coming. Let the pee soak my crotch, which didn’t take long. _

“Whose pee, Harvey?” Agard nudged him.

“My pee,” he answered.

**[meeting]**

Jessica- Harvey! What are you..

Her eyes fell to his crotch. She saw the obvious wet patch spreading. This was not a sight she ever expected to see. Jessica quickly called off the remaining few minutes of the meeting, shooing away all the clients and related lawyers. The few that heard the noise of Harvey peeing looked completely gobsmacked. Harvey heard some mild whispering. 

_ But, I wasn’t focused on anyone else. As weird as I know it may sound, I was just enjoying myself. Basking in the relief of finally  _ ** _going_ ** _ . I didn’t care that it was in my pants. The relief was heavenly. _

“The last thing I heard in that room was Jessica barking at me, demanding an explanation. I think I may have heard that as angrier than she was, but either way, it got me back to reality enough to look straight at Jessica, then at the door, which was unlocked, and at the ‘damage’. Next, I ran. I just ran. Never looking back, never stopping, just running. All the way home. Well, minus the driving part.”

Harvey folded his hands in his lap to signal the end to his story. 

“And, then a few hours later, you knocked on my door, holding my lunchbox from 2nd grade full of sweets asking me to talk about pee,” He remarked. 

Dr Agard smiled at Harvey. 

“There’s one thing you left out. The reason you blame yourself for this. You know as well as I do that this was an accident, and yet you convince yourself it wasn’t, why is that?” she asked.

“Because it could be prevented,” Harvey explained.

“How? You could not have known that Louis was going to stop you. You could not have predicted the timing of your panic attack,” Dr Agard mentioned.

Harvey rolled his eyes.

“Okay, so drinking the glasses of water wasn’t a stupid decision. Still. I could’ve told Louis about my  _ situation _ . I could’ve told Mike. I should have gone while I was in the damn bathroom after my panic attack. I should have had the balls to ask to be excused a second time. But I did neither of those things because..I was embarrassed.”

“Good. Now, I think it’s getting late, but what I want you to do until we met again, is tell Mike what happened.” 

And with that, she left Harvey’s apartment. 

_ To be continued… _


	2. Old Tales and New Triumphs

“Mike, I need to talk to you in my office,” Harvey called out, in the voice usually reserved for favours. 

“What’s up?”

“We’ve been working together for a long time now, I feel like I can trust you,” he stated. Mike just nodded, semi-professionally.

“I also feel, I need to explain to you why I left early yesterday,” Harvey introduced the topic. 

“Wasn’t it a panic attack? That’s what Jessica said..” Mike asked, confused.

“No, I didn’t leave  _ that _ early. I should have..” Harvey clarified, indicating for Mike to sit down across from him.

“Do you remember where we were standing, when Louis called us into the meeting?” 

“Yeah, in front of the bathroom..wait, weren’t you about to go in there?” Mike suddenly recalled.

“Exactly. Because I had drunk not only a coffee but  _ 2 and a half glasses of water!” _ Harvey emphasised the root of the problem he was about to reveal.

“Is that why you couldn’t get up at first, when we were about to persuade that wealthy client?” Mike pondered.

“Yes,” Harvey answered simply. 

Mike made an expression of surprised sympathy. 

“It gets worse. Much worse,” Harvey continued. “At the end of the meeting, I had to shake the hand of some guy who liked my work ethic or some bullshit like that, which required me to separate my thighs, and..” Harvey sighed, giving Mike a chance to figure it out himself. 

“No. You didn’t,” Mike queried in disbelief. 

“I did. Excessively,” Harvey admitted. 

“Is Jessica mad at you?” Mike asked in concern.

“I don’t know. I remember her demanding an explanation really loud, but I ran out so fast I can’t be sure if it was her angry tone or her worried assertive tone,” Harvey shrugged.

* * *

_The next morning…_

After two rounds of good sleep, Harvey Specter finally managed to forget about the events of that dreadful day. At 9:15 sharp, he walked with his associate along the hallway of the Pearson-Specter, stopping at the bathroom. 

“Hey, Jessica wants to see you in her office,” Louis informed Harvey.

“Not now, Louis,” he replied.

“Yes, now! What’s the hold-up?” Louis asked. 

Any other day, Harvey would never admit this to Louis nor anyone else in the firm, but somehow, he felt  _ done.  _

“I have to pee,” he stated firmly, walking straight into the bathroom, past Louis. Once inside and situated in front of the urinal, Harvey had the best pee he’d ever had. 

His head felt slightly dizzy. Harvey could barely believe what he’d just told Louis Litt. He had admitted the one thing he never did before. He thought it felt good. Really good. 

**Jessica Pearson’s office**

“As I told you the other day, I want an explanation as to what happened in that meeting whether you like or not” Jessica demanded in her angry voice.

“Believe me I didn´t mean for that to happen. The main cause is an issue I’m solving with my therapist” Harvey explained. 

“Well, you need to do whatever you can to prevent this happening again, ´cause I had to lie and say you just had ‘nerves’. I can’t copy-paste that every time my senior partner wets his pants,” Jessica requested, exasperatedly. Harvey knew she intended for it to sound cynical and disdainful, but he heard her worry and sympathy clear as day.

****** What Harvey didn’t know ****

Jessica frowned in concern as her partner fled the scene of his accident. She stepped resolutely out of the room, dodging the yellow puddle under Harvey’s chair, and walked over to Gretchen’s desk. 

“Gretchen, I need you to call the cleaner, get a guy to fix the conference room, there’s been a spill” she requested.

“Why? Someone get sick in there or something?” Gretchen asked dubiously. 

“Not exactly,” Jessica said, hesitantly. 

“Was it Harvey? Did he have another panic attack?” she asked, now worried.

“Yes, but not in the conference room. How do you even know about that?” Jessica questioned.

“Oh, please. I have Harvey’s entire schedule, including visits to a therapist, Dr Agard. It’s not that hard to figure out.” Gretchen scoffed. “So, what’s the spill, then?” 

“Okay, this goes under your NDA; Harvey had an accident,” Jessica told her.

“In what sense?” asked Gretchen.

“The toddler sense,” Jessica said, attempting to ignore the fact she was talking about a grown man peeing his pants. 

Gretchen just shook her head and did what she was told. 

Donna approached Jessica, having eavesdropped as always. 

“Jessica! Is Harvey alright?” she asked with motherly concern. 

“You heard my entire conversation with Gretchen didn’t you?” Jessica remarked. 

“Of course.” 

“I don’t know how he is, he bolted out of here right after the meeting, didn’t even try to explain himself. Guess I’ll just have to give him some time to process” she explained to Donna. 

“I think it’s at least partially Louis Litt’s fault,” Donna remarked.

“Why?”

“One part of Harvey’s schedule he doesn’t reveal to anyone, is his bathroom breaks. The first one is 9:15 sharp, every day. Same time as your meeting right?” Donna asked. Jessica nodded.

“I saw Louis Litt guide Harvey into the conference room around that time,” Donna retold. 

Jessica sighed. “Well, Harvey’s clearly got issues if he made you keep vital information like that from me,” she remarked, pointing a finger at Donna to keep her from defending her former boss.

*****

Harvey walked cheerfully into yet another client meeting. He figured it would be just fine this time, as he probably exaggerated the length of the meeting in his head due to how badly he needed to pee last time. Not only was Harvey wrong to think this, this time it was even longer…

As soon as the shifting in his seat began, Harvey focused all available brain cells on a solution. Telling Jessica outright was quickly ruled out, others would hear. She was unfortunately also visibly busy, so that ruled out secret messaging. Harvey settled on squeezing himself periodically. The third time he did this, he did not notice how far away from the table he was sitting. So, Jessica spotted it. Making an executive decision, she steered the conversation to one end of the table, freeing her to simply listen. At the same time, she slid a piece of paper over to Harvey. He read it; ‘ _ do you need to pee?’.  _ This was the last question he expected to be asked by his boss.. everyone’s boss. He subtly nodded. With any other employee, Jessica would just expect them to be able to wait, as none of her meetings are too long for the majority of bladders. But considering what had happened to Harvey, she wasn’t taking risks. She showed him a gesture signalling for him to just leave to perform his  _ task _ . Without a second thought, Harvey stood up, politely excused himself and headed for the door. A middle-aged man at the table instantly asked where he was going. 

His answer?

“Sorry sir, conflict of interest. It’s between your money and my _bladder_. Guess which one I chose?” Harvey swiftly exited, peed and returned, like any other lawyer before him. 

  
  


* * *

**Dr Agard’s office**

“So, how did it go with Mr Ross?” Paula asked. 

“Better than expected. He seemed to get it. I’ve known him long enough to know he won’t rat me out to Louis.” Harvey replied with calm satisfaction.

  
“And that’s not the only victory I’ve had this week,” he continued. “This morning, Louis blocked my way to the bathroom again, but I stopped him..by stating exactly what I needed to do,” Harvey stated proudly. 

  
“That’s significant progress, Harvey!” Dr Agard complimented. He nodded.

“Then, during another client meeting, I admitted it again, to a whole table of clients, and some lawyers, but still,” he beamed with confidence.

“Presumably more subtle than with Louis though, right?” Dr Agard hinted mischievously. Harvey shrugged and shot her look, challenging her to reduce his victory. She did no such thing. 

  
“Now we can properly end this silly toilet problem of yours,” she stated with excitement. 

_ To be continued... _


	3. Excused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Good Wife** crossover! Ft. Judge Charles Abernathy and Alicia Florrick. Set after she and Cary start their new law firm.

It had never occurred to Harvey that this could be a problem before. 

Despite the new arrangements, Donna still met with Harvey before a trial for them to do their “thing” with the can opener. Today was a particularly important trial, as his opponent was the wife of the district attorney, who was running for Governor of Illinois. 

Donna opened the door to the men’s bathroom. 

“This is the wrong bathroom, Ginger,” Harvey commented sarcastically, turning around to smile at his former secretary. 

“Please stop making references like that, you’re not 75,” Donna said, slightly cringy. 

“You’ve brought it, right? You didn’t forget in the lull of how hot Peter Florrick used to be?” he double-checked. Donna nodded, and pulled out the usual equipment: a can opener, and a closed can of Monster Energy. 

Harvey thanked her with a kiss on the cheek, and grabbed the can, opening it. While he drank, Donna massaged his shoulders. Once she was done she pulled out a timer, while Harvey looked at his clock.

“5 minutes right?” she double-checked. Harvey made a noise of agreement.

2 minutes later, a tall man holding a bundle of black silky fabric, entered the bathroom. 

“Oh. It’s okay, keep doing what you’re doing, I’m just using the bathroom,” the man assured them, going into a stall. Both out of politeness, and due to Harvey’s “condition”, they both left the bathroom, whispering to each other by the door. 

“What do I do?” Harvey asked in a panic.

“There’s another bathroom one floor up,” Donna informed him. 

They were only a few steps away from the door, when Alicia Florrick approached them. 

  
“You ready? the Judge will be in any minute,” she told them. 

“I was born ready,” Harvey lied, and followed her. 

**Courtroom**

Alicia was proven right as Charles Abernathy stepped through his special judge door, and entered the courtroom, looking as stoic and warm as always. 

Harvey didn’t know whether to be relieved or annoyed at this realization. The man sitting in Abernathy’s high seat in the front of the room, was the tall man he met in the bathroom earlier. 

“Good morning, everyone. This is a case of a copyright dispute between Chumhum and Scabbit. Scabbit is at this time represented by Harvey Specter of  _ Pearson Specter Litt _ , and Chumhum predictably, by  Florrick-Agos . Nice to see you in my courtroom again, Mrs Florrick,” Judge Abernathy introduced, exchanging pleasantries with his old friend.

“You too, your Honor,” Alicia returned the gesture. 

As soon as the Judge introduced Florrick’s opening statement, Harvey felt it. He took a deep breath and squeezed his thighs together, resolving to remain calm, and more importantly, standing up. 

Eventually, he used the circumstance of Alicia making circumstantial claims to make an objection, as well as cross his legs whilst leaning on the desk. 

  
“Sustained. Mrs Florrick let’s not get ahead of ourselves so early in the proceedings,” the Judge ruled, and gently lectured Alicia. 

Then, she made an even worse claim, and Harvey jumped back into action. 

“Objection, attorney is testifying!” he yelped, before raising his right leg a fraction to clench, for just a second. 

The judge raised his  _ eyebrow _ an even _smaller_ fraction, as he noticed the strange behaviour. Luckily for Harvey, Abernathy was alone in the observation. 

“Overruled. Harvey, you’ve got a win, A win. I’d lecture you but I assume you’ve heard Alicia’s earlier..,” Charles remarked. Harvey didn’t understand, but the comment seemed to come with a hint of doubt showing on the judge’s face. He quickly assured the judge that yes, he did hear it. Harvey wondered for a second if it was physically possible to skip ahead in a trial, towards the end. He dismissed this as he walked toward his desk, to listen to the rest of the opening statement more calmly. But the judge interrupted him. 

  
“Mr Specter, where are you going? It’s your turn,” 

A dozen alarm bells went off following this announcement. It meant that Harvey Reginald Specter’s bladder not only had to sustain the pressure of standing up with uncrossed legs, but move in the characteristic way lawyers do when presenting their case. Nevertheless, Harvey began.

Despite his best efforts, Harvey’s statement was nothing short of a  _ performance _ . He leaned to one side, gesticulating to allow for his combined raised leg-thigh clenching manoeuvre. He put his hands in his lap, as if telling a story, while strongholding his crotch. It was when he was, without realizing it, leaning forward and “bobbing” with his hips, as if he was about to do a Russian folk dance, that Judge Abernathy intervened. 

“Mr Spectacle” the Judge called out. Harvey turned his attention to the Judge, not noticing the name he was just called. 

“Oh, good, you have at least partial awareness,” Abernathy smiled humorously. “Do you need to be excused?” he asked the defending lawyer kindly. 

Harvey frowned at the word “excused”. It was something teachers said, not judges. In a professional setting, the word had multiple meanings, most related to fatigue or mild fever, both solved with a glass of water. Not that Harvey wanted that. At. All. 

“I’m sorry, your honour?” he presented his confusion.

“Well, you seem to be presenting your case as an interpretive dance,” the judge noted. 

“Low blood pressure, your honour” Harvey lied, doing a light hop to demonstrate, then shifting his weight, as the hop helped decrease the pressure tremendously. 

“I think it’s more likely a case of  _ high _ pressure,” Abernathy hinted knowingly. 

Harvey turned his head sideways, and nodded tensely at the judge. 

“And..yes to your first question,” Harvey said quietly. He was sweating small droplets next to his temples, hoping Florrick wouldn’t realize what was being discussed. 

Judge Abernathy smiled in understanding. “Go ahead, Harvey. We’ll wait,” he assured the attorney. Harvey revealed more of his desperation on his face, and thanked the judge. 

With a small bow, and a crotch grab via his pockets, Harvey sprinted out of the courtroom. Once he was out, and saw the almost empty hallway, he gave up on pretence. He kept one hand on his crotch, and bolted towards the bathroom door. He slammed it shut behind him, took his position in front of the urinal, and hastily unzipped. As the urine streamed heavily out of him, the relief was euphoric. Harvey allowed himself an extra few seconds of sighing happily, for the sake of being sure that nothing remained. He zipped himself back up and checked out the damage. There was none. He had managed the impossible. Not a drop spilt. Harvey washed his hands, and walked back to court. 

He entered with a big blush on his face and a partially doe-eyed look, similar to the one which activated whenever talking about his mother. 

“I’m back, your honour,” he announced simply to the room full of eyes, turned towards him. 

Abernathy gave a small smile, and merely waved Harvey towards where he was expected to continue his opening statement. And it was some opening statement. With one shake of the head, Harvey forgot all that had happened earlier, and turned back to his normal Bulldog Lawyer self. He walked quickly to the front of the room, already beginning his verbal assault on the way, his typical relentless angry eyes flaring. 

In the end, the case required another session later in the week. But all signs pointed to a win for Pearson Specter Litt. And Harvey’s bladder.

  
_ As long as Harvey can prevent Donna from showing up that day. _


End file.
